Attachment Wounding

Attachment wounding refers to the damage that occurs when early childhood relational needs are inadequately met. This can mean that a caregiver was emotionally absent, physically absent, abusive, neglectful or overly harsh. Whatever the dynamics in the family environment, your need to feel safe, secure and important was missed and you developed an insecure attachment style that impacts how you relate to those closest to you now. Maybe you tend to push people away, even when you want them close. Maybe you cling to others so much that they get overwhelmed and pull back. Maybe you have a hard time feeling seen or heard and are always fighting with others about that. Whether your attachment style shows up as a default tendency to distance yourself from others or an inclination to chase after the other (or a confusing combination of both), there is fundamental insecurity at work that makes it hard to have satisfying closeness.

Working with attachment in individual therapy means we're using the therapeutic relationship as a place to learn how to trust and discover relational safety. We then use the therapeutic alliance to help you bridge over into your other relationships and identify ways that you can relate from a more secure place by extending a bit more trust while learning to self-soothe and identify the challenging relational impulses of pursue or flee. Trauma-focused work is supportive as is boundary work.


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