Category: trauma

Pooh bear on a teeter totter

Childhood Trauma Comes with Us

When we bury our feelings, we bury who we are. Because of childhood emotional trauma, we may have learned to hide parts of ourselves. At the time, that may have helped us. But as adults, we need our feelings to tell us who we are and what we want, and to guide us toward becoming the people we want to be.

This Psychology Today article by Andrea Brandt, Ph.D., MFT, succinctly outlines 4 typical ways our early wounding shows up later in relationships. Whether we like it or not, we are definitely shaped by our early environment and that shaping stays with us until we learn to recognize it and incorporate new ways to respond to others. Dr. Brandt identifies the challenges with developing a false self, getting stuck in victim-hood, passive-aggressive response patterns, and being passive. Learning to see these patterns in your life is an important first step in your own recovery process.

mountain lake reflection

Trust in Yourself

When you start to say to yourself; “I trust myself,” you begin to restore faith in your judgment of others and situations, and as a result, you open your heart to love, joy and feeling safe again.

Susanne Babbel, PhD offers this simple somatic exercise to support self-trust in order to eventually facilitate trust in others – we can’t trust others if we don’t trust our own assessments and experiences. For those of us who have had relational betrayals or wounding with close others, trusting can be really scary and hard. Yet remaining distrusting is a path of loneliness and dissatisfaction since we can never really be close to people without taking the risk to be open. Dr. Babbel describes a mindful somatic exercise that guides you through tracking the experience of comfort – it is in this small way that you can begin building more confidence in your ability to feel and assess what is happening.

The Courage of Parenting with a History of Trauma

If all goes well, your children will never completely understand you. They will love you and they will learn from you, but your experience will always be foreign to them.

This compassionate piece by Gretchen Schmelzer offers some strong support for the journey of parenting – she offers this amazing and deeply challenging truth that, as a survivor of trauma, if you do your job as a parent well enough, your kids will never fully get you – they will not know the depths of your suffering or your struggle because you’ve worked so hard to set that aside in your parenting and give them a secure and safe childhood. She also addresses the challenges of parenting when your own childhood was lacking in significant ways. A short but powerful piece.

Rejection Sensitivity in Relationships

It makes sense that after painful experiences of rejection, people would arm themselves with vigilance and caution about …

Pooh bear on a teeter totter

Childhood Trauma Comes with Us

When we bury our feelings, we bury who we are. Because of childhood emotional trauma, we may have learned to hide parts of …

mountain lake reflection

Trust in Yourself

When you start to say to yourself; “I trust myself,” you begin to restore faith in your judgment of others and …