When we bury our feelings, we bury who we are. Because of childhood emotional trauma, we may have learned to hide parts of ourselves. At the time, that may have helped us. But as adults, we need our feelings to tell us who we are and what we want, and to guide us toward becoming the people we want to be.
This Psychology Today article by Andrea Brandt, Ph.D., MFT, succinctly outlines 4 typical ways our early wounding shows up later in relationships. Whether we like it or not, we are definitely shaped by our early environment and that shaping stays with us until we learn to recognize it and incorporate new ways to respond to others. Dr. Brandt identifies the challenges with developing a false self, getting stuck in victim-hood, passive-aggressive response patterns, and being passive. Learning to see these patterns in your life is an important first step in your own recovery process.